Fat on Fat Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday, and I work in an office with a bunch of diet killers.

I've never seen so much purple, gold and green in one setting. We are in KANSAS mind you, celebrating like we're in the thick of Louisiana. I'm not a party pooper for not celebrating, but putting me through hell trying NOT to rape that massive KING CAKE on the counter isn't exactly what I call... fun.

Have you ever heard of a KING CAKE? I haven't till today.

Did you know there is a freakin baby hidden in that thing.. and if you get it then you have to host the next King Cake/ Fat Tuesday party. I don't know about you but it don't feel right chomping on small babies?

So to get back on my diet, I've brought in... salad.

I ate oatmeal this morning, but it doesn't cut it when it comes to that cake,.. deliciously waiting for me..

and muffins, cupcakes, cheese, crackers and cookies. (whoa look at that all start with a "c")

Well crap.

I hope everyone has a joyous FAT TUESDAY.. faire une fête.

Ground Control to Major Tom

While I was on the plane coming back home I was soooo tired... While waiting for the flight back which was DELAYED, I tried my hardest to keep my eyes open. I don't sleep in unknown places I'm not familiar with.. esp not a airport. So I told myself I'll make the sleep up on the plane in a seat in the corner (by an exit) all to myself. I had my ear phones, sun glasses (it was night)and my hood to be extra secluded. Well..

My sleeping plans feeelll through. Since it was delayed they took some people from another flight and squished everyone together..so it was a full flight. Earlier I saw a man in the gate area waiting for his flight. He was a tall Don Juan pimp like of a person. His hair was slicked back into a tight braided ponytail. He had on a 3 piece hunter green and tan suite. It was tailored fit, not all huge. He had one ear pierced, gold bracelet and nice teeth. I saw him catch my eye a couple of times, and I thought oh lord.. please don't let him sit by me. I am not for sale, nor do I have his money..LOL

I sat at the first seat near the front next to a stocky Hawaiian lady, thinking nobody would want to sit between us.. it'll be great, plus we had extra leg space. Well, behold.. there he was pointing with his extra long finger nail, "May I please sit between you lovely ladies?" Cigarette smoke and a disgruntled cough later, he asked my name. My name is so hard, I just usually tell people a fake name: Stephanie.. it's 3 syllables and people can understand it. But somehow my real name came out. I think it was the power of a pimp. He introduced himself with something I couldn't understand and we started talking..

This was his first plane ride in 11 years. We stopped in Las Vegas to let people off and he wanted to take a smoke. The attendant told him if he left he would be left, he begged to smoke on the landing next to the plane and blow the smoke out that small crack and she told him he would be arrested. He was joanzing like no other. After another hour he told me he was a musician. He played the guitar- 6 string and the bass. I told him I also was into music, I sing here and there. Then openly I showed him my new LA tattoo of a treble clef and a bass treble clef on the right side of my wrist shaped into a heart.

He dugg it. Then started to digg me. He kept saying, who EVA.. eva eva eva, is waiting at home for you is a lucky man. I told em thanks.. He said I had the softest looking cheeks and was down to earth...yatta yatta. I was getting weired out, so then I turned the convo over to his love life. He was married for 13 years. He and his wife were having troubles and one day his wife calls him at work and asked.."What time are you going to be home from work?" In his gut, he said he knew what that meant. He lied and said 9:00. . (pm) From there he said he slammed down the phone and rushed into his 30min drive home to find his wife in the bed with another man. He said his heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces. And he never found the effort to sit and put it all back together again.

I could tell there were still some bitterness. He said that was 20 years ago, but when he explained it to me it felt like it happened yesterday. He said he loved her so much, worked 2 jobs for her, consoled his every thought to her, and she took all that away. He said he left her with the house, one of the cars, all the furniture and he left with his clothes, his guitar and his extreme heartbreak. It was like he wanted to still cry right there on my shoulder. He said he never felt anything like it ever before.. then it got me to thinking.. when I had my first real heartbreak. It really is nothing to play with. I was so down I was below the below..

After all our heartbreak/ache talk, we went back to music and how my husband was so lucky. Then I thought how this guy wasn't so bad at all.. see how stereo-types & judgemental thinking will keep you from meeting the coolest people sometimes?

He was the lover's lover, and I liked that. He pulled out his Cologne from his inside pocket and sprayed it on the back of his hand, rubbed it in and smiled with a sparkle. I took a sip of the cosmopolitan he bought me and sleeplessly flew all the way home.

I'm In LA Trriiiicccckkkk...

Well, not anymore. I'm BACK HOME in cold Kansas, and sad I can't see the beach anymore! =0(

I had an OH SO wonderful time! I got to see all the CA,LA attractions, and the not so great attractions like the parking as I mentioned before, the rain that only started when I came, and the bums that made pools of pee at the stop light crosswalks.

I've saw Larry David on the Santa Monica Pier on Valentines day. He was walking in front of us, with his lady friend, and I had a whole scenario in my head when I saw him. Which probably most non-californians do. I saw em, then thought, man he looks like Larry David, then light bulb flashed, and I thought, wait I'm in California, then reluctantly out of my mouth, I shouted, "HI LARRY DAVID".. lol He said "Hiii".. and thats it. But shit, thats what they signed up for.. people like me. I don't care if it's was Valentines day.

I ate like it was nobodies business, drank a tad, and got to visit the most awesome people ever! Bon Don with her cute little self, their gorgeous friend Dula Dip, and of course the luxurious Himbo, and he does have awesome hair! We chatted up and drank and ate. They were so funny! We could talk about anything..I hope my friend Court gets together with them cause she needs some CA chuckles from real cool people!


For my buddy's birthday I took her to get a tattoo, she got an African Violet flower on her wrist, and I got a music treble clef & a bass treble clef on my wrist that makes a heart. This trip will be so memorable.

I'm glad to be back home, CA is a wonderful place to visit with so many cool things to do, and a array of people of all nationalities. I can't wait to go back again.

Here are some pics of my travels I took:

That Parking Thing is REAL

I've finally made it into CA last night! I'm in Long Beach, CA. The city is beautiful! Although it was really late when I came in and couldn't see the pretty sky still everything looked so cool.. We ate pizza at Boston Pizza (I think that's the name). Then my long time buddy took me to her cute little humble abode. It's cute and its quaint and it fits her so perfectly. She loves this place and says she can actually see herself living in Long Beach forever. Pretty cool for a country girl moving to the big city..

Well.. with big cities come big parking problems. I knew this before I came because just a few months ago she told me she was real hungry and didn't want to spend alot on food. She wanted to take a trip to Subway, but after a seconds thought decided not too because she had an AWESOME parking space!

Soo.. she decided she'd rather stay home and starve.

Last night while driving around 1:something I found that we were circling around and around on one way streets alot. I asked what she was doing and she said looking for a parking space. I was like, damn! What's going on, someone having a party? She laughed, and said no. It's like this all the time!.. What! I said. This shit is real! We drove down further and she exciiiiiitedly found one. It's funny because back in KS she didn't know how to parallel park, she whipped her jeep forward and slung it back in reverse and there we were, parked perfectly. Thank gawd my luggage had wheels cause we were rolling for awhile. She said, whew! I'm glad we got one up close!.. Up close! I was walking through an alley for like 15 minutes! LOL (give or take... ;0)



I know this has to be a worldwide issue because Ms. Amber, in Amber-Alert blog had somewhat of the same incident. She almost missed a meeting with aka: Slim Shady because she had a BOMB ASS parking spot next to her building and didn't want to leave.. after seeing this with my friend I can tooootally relate.

In Kansas, it's so wide and flat. We have no public transportation, just one bus that only picks people up at major spots during the work hour time of the day. Kansas City, MO has buses that run though out like a city, but the parking is never an issue. I have a parking space right in front of my apt door everyday, same thing at work damn near too! So this was a city parking culture shock.. This is CA, Ambes is in DC, so I know NY, FL, CHICAGO, MASS, etc can feel the same.. maybe even worse in some areas.

Thank gawd for open parking spaces and... garages.

Special Delivery

I know i've been reading alot of Valentine blog post, but I thought I might not have one to offer considering I'll be out of town this weekend. (TO CALIFORNIA <3)

Usually my husband and I don't do much of anything special because our excuse is that we enjoy each other all the rest of the days, but we really just don't want to get caught up in the hype of gifts.. (this was made after a few missed gift exchanges and last minute drug store stops) If it isn't from the heart, then lets just pass up on it.. When I do things, I like make the effort to do them 100%. He was making it feel like.. "do I really haaaavvvee too?" lol

Although this year, he surprised me. Cupid came early. I'm so simple and he'd done what I always wished. Letter from the heart. Accompanied with roses made it even better..

I'll share his provoking inspirational of the heart:

"Something beautiful for the most beautiful woman I know. Your intelligence, sophistication, elegance and class are indeed characteristic of beauty. Your potential is endless in a world of so many possibilities. Your strength and courage are simply remarkable.
I love to see your face in the morning. I know I am married to a Queen who needs no paint to hide behind; and whose body has been truly fashioned by God. I am privileged and honored to find a rare jewel. She is my friend, my lover, my mate for life!"

The lady delivering the flowers waited for me, and gave me this hand written note. I went to my desk and was all emotional, my ears were hot and my nose was read. I called em up and thanked my love for the best V-day ever..

Just simple notes will do it to me every time.

<3


Next day, today.. 2/13.. I received another dz of roses, no love letter, but he stole my heart yet once again.

PUSH by Sapphire

While rummaging through old boxes of my mothers books I stole from her while moving, I saw this publication. PUSH, by Sapphire. I really didn't know what it was a about, but when I read the back it looked interesting. I started reading it the other day and couldn't put it down. I think it was like a school reading criteria book. You know the ones that have study guides and questions to go with them, but I don't know who would be studying this book in class it's so real and deep and vulgar.

This is what it's about: From the author Sapphire, "Precious Jones, the protagonist, has been raped by her father since she was seven years old. She's also been abused and battered by her mother, horribly. In addition, she's slipped through all the cracks in the educational system. So at sixteen, when the novel begins, she's still in junior high, unable to read and write, and pregnant with her father's child. She wants to stay in school just in the hope of someday getting to be a part of something, but they kick her out because she's pregnant. And then she goes to an alternative school, where she's allowed to have her innocence back. And these older women and fellow outcasts who are in the class embrace her. So she goes from being this object of ridicule and abuse to being like the baby. "

Quite moving I must say. Made me take my warm & loving life for granted. Take knowing how to read & write, and how to talk proper and knowing how to put "our face" (puttin on the proper-esque and saving face is used to get by, like walking with zombies) on for granted. I couldn't imagine illiteracy even if I wanted too, and that's kind of sad.

The book might not be suited for all, my husband read a page when she was talking about her father raping her and he just set the book down and was confused all night. I think it shook him a little, and didn't understand that things like this happen in the world. Illiteracy, rape, poverty, addiction... = oppression. Sometimes we act like we don't hear those cries.

Anyway, not to pour on the sadness thick, just wanted to recommend a book that stirred me up a lil'. It's pissy, it's graphic, it's sad, it's vulgar, it's black.

Here's a link to the interview with the first time novelist.

Next: Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison.

2006 Was The Year..

Today is just heavenly outside today.

It rained over night, a little bit this morning, then the clouds broke apart and the sun came out. The winds are warm and the air is clean & crisp. Got me feeling all musical. I get that feeling when everything feels right; then I start thinking back to when times were so magical. The most recent year was in 2006 when I met my husband. My friend in college came home for the summer and we just kicked it like kids do. The music was really good, the weather was really hot, and I got rid of some lost baggage I had been carrying around for seven years. A long time to be with someone who didn't love you completely. Vice verse. I would never do that to myself again. Thinking back... 2006 was my year of self discovery with a case of butterflies here and there. Who ever knew falling in love again would be so rich & enjoyable..

Can you think back to when you fell in love?

Not the teenage love, but the grown-up love. Where the all the games were out of the picture, but when it was all said and done only you two were the ones left?

Today kinda seems like that... 3 years later. It's not summer outside but it is to me.. I heard a couple songs on the radio today that confirmed it. I was 23 then.

2006 was a compilation of worried, scared, nervous, laughs, love , joy, hunger & pain all jumbled up in a year. God said, I have something for you.. you better aware yourself so you can receive it all cause you've never experienced anything like this.

And he was right.. the wind even blew differently. I saw the moon in a different light, the rain fell at a different angle. Birds spoke to eachtoher in the early morning and I noticed.

The year was my Muse. I wrote poetry & love stories and prayed & gave thanks. People looked me in the eye, and I smiled..

Like I was dancing to my favorite slow song..

Have you had your year yet?

Totally NOT a Good Look

So, catching up on the drama I first blogged about, first take a gander at this one: Abuse

After all the drama and more insanely crazy issues with this maniac she decides to:

MARRY HIM.

After all the bull shit, all the crazy mean allegations and nonsense. They wed. At the court house just last weekend. Now, I must admit, since all the crazy drama between the two of them this guy, now her husband made the effort to clean up a tad, became and little sweeter, started doing stuff for her, becoming more of a guy great..

Well I guess not..

They've been having some short arguments and disagreements now and then before the court house ceremony, but tell me why after the ceremony............... he flips!?

On Friday night, the day I took off for myself I spent all night helping her get ready for this, she led me to believe that he had changed, and he's all about being with her forever, he's good for her daughter.. yaaaaddda yaddda yada. Majority of her friends left her, and he has pushed many of her family away because of the whole situation. Knowing this, I felt like she needed to have soooooomebody in her life, but somehow I didn't know how much of a undertaking that really was. The whole situation is so sour.

The night of their marriage, she'd made plans to go to a very elaborate themed hotel, with rose petals on the bed, Jacuzzi, champagne & fruit and such. Spent all this money on lingerie and what does he do? Makes her night a living hell. While trying to consummate the marriage he blames her for not successfully fulfilling the big O. Which can be a problem sometimes when your: sleepy, stressed, tired, worried etc. So instead of Turing over and calling it a night, he throws the hugest tantrum, yells, argues, blames her for crazy non-existing stuff.. and worse says the most vile, ill mannered things a man should never say to a woman. Telling her she would never be a _______ (his last name). She only got with him to be her baby's new daddy & mentioned how payback is a bitch, he's so angry he could get her again (sleeping with another woman, which he'd done 1 month before) Now he never laid a hand on her, but the mental & emotional abuse she received ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT.. was incredibly sick. Like, are you kidding me.. (more things happened that night, that I couldn't possibly indulge, I just can't believe it)

She interrupted me during my cooked sushi eating and called and told me all this.. I didn't want to tell her I told her so, but that's what I felt. The only words I uttered was get an annulment first thing Monday morning, your life will be a living hell if you don't do something about it now.

She cried, I listened. She was confused I tried to cover her with sane consciousness. At the end of our convo I asked so what are you going to do? I don't know... she said. I don't know.

From there, I thought.. welll damn. I tried to be there, but I don't know how much friend to friend stupidity I can possibly take. Why would someone want to re-loop their life with such insane drama & stressful intensity like that?..

I told her that he was a PSYCHOPATH: –noun Psychiatry.
A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.

And a NARCISSIST: -noun Psychiatry
A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

To me that's crazy people.. ? My mom is a Holy Roly ( joke for someone who's deeply in the scriptures and talk the word of God for everything- which isn't a bad thing) said, he's a possessed individual and has the spirit of Satan all over him. She told me to pray for them and if she doesn't listen to just keep away.. like.. it's like that serious!

I was watching Oprah, and she had the father on from Sugarland, TX who son shot the whole family after the son's graduation dinner b/c he wasn't going to graduate from college. The son was obviously mentally crazy, they psychologist called him a sociopath, and he was a narcissist too, that he was able to do this.. Kill his family.. these are signs. That's when I thought about my friend.. SIGNS. That people don't look at because they are too worried about their superficial emotions.

Well .. the signs are clear and I hope nothing like death ever happens to her, but I have to back out of this one. How long do you stay & lend that ear? Supposedly my thoughts and mentions don't mean much, when she calls about the same situation I just say them all over and again and I'm tired of it. Soon just the arguing and making her feel incredibly retched will not be good for him, he will have to elevate to something more hurtful when those cries aren't enough..

You just have to get the crazy people out of your life.. don't ya'll agree?

I never thought in my life I'd come across such a thing. These phyco's really exist.

Taxes Schmaxes

So it's Tax season for everyone now and I don't know if I'm gonna like it this year.
Last year I was so close to oweing. I forgot that my husband and I were only married like 3 months out the year so we filed seperatly and that eased the pain somewhat. I know alot of people save their refunds and stash it away for a rainy day, or pay some bills off, or just splurg it to death, which is all fine.. it's your money. Acutally over the years I've done all of those..

I remember when I asked my mom when I was 17 if I could do mine seperately. I damn near had a full time job and going to school so she let me. I thought that was pretty cool of her, because most parents would want to hold on to thier kids dedecutions as long as they could. Now, if they are still living in the house, going to school with no job then that only makes since to keep theirs. When I got that refund back at 17 it was like $800.00. I thought I was the richest person on earth.. I bought a car stero (for my lil 1986 Honda Accord, & this was 1999 mind you), went to some resturants with my friends, got a new Jansport backpack, and saved the rest for Prom.

Now a days seem like my buddies are getting the jackpots back. I have alot of single mother friends, and when it is tax season for them it's a payday foreal. One of my friends met me for dinner and drinks, she said she was going to Vegas to see her dude and was real excited because she got her taxes back and could have some money and a couple new outfits. I thought that was cool, cause when you go to Vegas you need some money to have fun, but $7000.00 worth! Damn! I told her I'm having some kids tomorrow!!! LOL Noo just kidding..even with 2 kids I wouldn't get back that much. I know everyone's situation is different of course, and I know she really needs it, she does alot for her boys. Single mothers need any handup they can get, I saw it my whole life with my mom..

This year however, I'm in really need of a new computer. My brother & his lil porn obession has stricken my laptop with viral video stds. I've updated it & what not, it's just fairly old. So that's first on my list.. then I have to save for Atlanta this summer to visit my husbands grandparents.. I've never been there and I really want to do some site seeing..

What are your plans this tax season?


Yahoo had some good Tax & Finace articles:

Tax Cuts You Can See Soon

How You Can Still Land A Stimulus Check

8 Things to Do As Tax Season Begins

How and (HOW MUCH) The Rich Cheat on Taxes

Sweeeet.. Lemonade Award

THAT GIRL nominated me for the Lemonade Award! Her blog is Oh So Crazy, with a whirlwind of single girl excitement I only wish I had.. Her blog is hella funny, witty and she's a gem of person to her family and friends. And she always shows love.. hopefully someday I can get one of those free Patron shots .. (extraa lime for me please..LOL)



Here are the rules:1. You must link back to the person you received the award from.

You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!

1.Islandbaby- From Just My Opinion.. great read, she has similar everyday occurrence's that so funny at times.

2. Errant- at My Own Circus Show-
Is extremely bright and talented in her writing's. Her imaginations & clever post just always grow out of the computer screen and tend to inspire me..

3. Amber at Amber-Alert- Is hilarious with a tinge of attitude and I love it. She's real and reminds of me of all the real shit I missed out on. Plus she gives good advice rather she thinks so or not.

4.Chole at Orchestrated Destiny is just the sweetheart of the blogger world. She's writes emotional and makes me remember all the small parts of life we all sometimes tend forget.

5. Dizzblnd at Dream Watcher has your Dream informational fix. She's writes about incubation, interpretation, & good old tips for the resting mind.

6. Brother's Blog - Is the charismatic, chilvaristic, yet funny blog from a brotha's perspective. I like reading his blog cause I forgot how funny some men can be. Plus he brings up topics you question about, but never thought to blog about.

7. She's Gotta Have It is also a great blog when you just wanna read and want to be girly, chic & fresh. She's smart and topics are interesting as I am..


I'm just doing 7 bloggers, the others I've awarded like a billion times.. don't wanna award em' out.. LOL

Agh Fully Rested

and..... back to work.

Friday was great it was like 68 degrees, and sunny. Time needed and well spent. As my blogger buddy Patti put it.. Mental Health day. They should make those like national holiday's and it should always be on a Friday, like every 3rd week of the month. (ok, i've thought too much about this..)

Sad thing though is, more time on your hands the more your diet jets out the window. I ate like it was nobodies business. PLUS totally forgot it was SUPERBOWL weekend. I went over a friends house to watch it and had yummy greasy pizza and more. It was so worth it though. My fat ass will burn it off this week. Who did you guys watch the super bowl with? I totally thought Arizona was gonna win! It's like lets give the underdog a chance to win, woulda been a great story. Pittsburgh already did it a thousand times.

That was stupid girly sports talk..

Saturday I went out with some friends and found out more about how I love (COOKED)Sushi. I'm just a pussy when it come to raw fish, but I'm too scared I'll get some parasite. I know our ancestors did it, and I know if I was stranded on a island with no food & fire I would be chowin down on some raw cod, but for now I'll just have it cooked. It was delicioso!

We went out afterwards and it became an early night because one of the girls (just met her) over stimulated boyfriend roided out and head butted her for talking to a guy that came with us. He then left her stranded and she was in tears. I couldn't believe that.. the things guys will do these days.. I was ready to go home anyway.. My husband was ready for me, and I wanted a stress-free mental health weekend, not tracking down some massive muscle roided out dick head. Not my kinda party.

Overall...I can't wait for SPRING!!!!! 1 more month (and 2 1/2 weeks) to get through and happiness will start to bloom again. For all you warm all year around states, you can't ever take that for granted.. For cold states: WINTER sucks.