Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
What's going on with marriage today? I must admit I'm utterly confused? Being almost 3 years in, I'm thinking we are invincible.
My girlfriend in California is trying the dating thing out there. She's having a great time being single, black, and getting to know herself more as she ages. Occasionally, she'll entertain me with a crazy story with one of her guys she is "talking" to at the moment. This one in particular, Vincent... :::shaking my head::
My girlfriend went out for her birthday, turning 27. She meets a guy coming out of the bar. He's stepping out with his friends, getting into his latest Lexus SUV. He sees my girlfriend walking with her friends. He steps out and catches her before she crosses the street. He asked for her name and began with the 'let me give you a call shepeal' ..
While he was talking she peeps into the back seat of the SUV, she saw a car seat AND a booster seat. Two kids, really??. Normally after seeing that she would of passed up automatically, but after a dry spell or two, and experiencing the small pool of men that actually don't want to try forever, she decided to give him a try. They traded numbers, he calls her.
Vincent is a black, handsome college educated, frat brother in his late twenties... she asks him during the phone conversation about the kiddie caboodle in the back. He said, yea he has kids. He and girlfriend had recently broken up and he was staying with his mother. He has a 4 year old an a 2 month old. A 2 month old is pretty freaking fresh!.. She understood, he was cute, so she gave him a try. After a couple weeks and a steamy unexpected make out session in the the elevator, she fiiinnnaally gave up the cookie.
After all the dates out, many in depth conversations, wine and over nights he started to let his guard down. He sat on the floor with both of his arms perched on top of the bed. My friend glanced at his left hand and stared at the bright tan line with all the glowing red arrows pointing to it. She leaned on the wall..."Are you married???" Calm and smooth as butter he said, "Nope, it's a birth mark." Inside she was furious because not only was that fucking ridiculous, it was saying she was completely stupid to her face. She wanted his trust to further reveal his lies, so she smirked.. "No, really.. how long have you been married?"
He said 8 years. "We have a wonderful relationship." " I love her and she loves me, I just need to step out once in awhile. Everyone does it, you wouldn't believe who all I know who do this type a thing. Over 90% of married men have cheated or WILL cheat at some time, it's just in our nature" She said, "Does your wife know??" He said, "No, are you crazy. I keep this completely under control." She said, "Why didn't you tell me you was married..???" He then committed to further dig himself into lies, like.... " I really liked you and I didn't want you to find out because I didn't know you was gonna take it??.. you are so smart, and our conversations are just so good, and I can't talk to my wife like I can talk to you.. blah blah blah... fucking blah.
All the information crept up and came out like vomit. He spewed it everywhere like he was begging to get it out. Usually habitual liars are eventually like that with someone. He said, he purposely got a membership at 24 Hour Fitness because why??...It's open 24 hours and he can say he's there when he's with whichever woman. When he meets girls, he makes up a story about his life, and he uses alot of energy hiding the tan line by sitting on the right side of the girl, so his left arm can be over her shoulder. The whole object was to be good at lying. So then he began confessing a story on his in's and outs on meeting another chick he was currently "talking" to. He said he didn't care about her so he always wore his wedding ring around her. It took her roommate to finally point it out. When it was all out in the open between the 3 of them, he said she didn't care one bit.
My friend asked, "Would you be okay if you wife did it to you?" He said, "No... not really. But what I don't know won't hurt me."
Are these people crazy!!!??
Needless to say, but she was hurt. Because she allowed herself to trust him with her emotions, to open up to dating a man with kids, and for him not letting her decide on how to feel about him being married. Thank GOD she's totally against it, but what got to her was this new type of man. We're noticing we're not kids anymore, 27 is getting to the age of life consciousnesses. My girlfriend said, she never even thought to examine the wedding finger and who would go to so far links to lie and betray the love of another human being you promised your life too? She said.."This is the crap you see Sunday on Lifetime.. not in my studio Long Beach apartment.
Later in the week, at work she started looking at the clients that were men fingers at her job. A man in his 60's hit on her, he asked that she email him sometime. Not call but email. He was coming back from a long trip at a time share.. he kept saying we. She didn't see a ring and didn't think he was married until he called back up there after he left to see if his wife left the garage opener there.. she confirmed it was him.
Why are so many married men cheating?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Okay, so my husband has fully evolved himself into the "this is the way I like it, so deal with it" attitude. We have our weekly random fight over Night time vs. Morning time.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Arnetta over at This May Sound Crazy But... awarded me the Happy Award. This is my first award being back in a long time! So THANKS girl! What a way to hop back in the saddle.
Rules are: List 10 things that make you HAPPY. Then tag 10 Happy bloggers you really dig.... ya dig??
10. Collecting Pens makes me happy..
9. Happily utilizing my Green Thumb
7. Happiness is in Arts & Crafts
5. What's happy w/o Delectable Desserts
4. Writing: Getting your happiness out on paper.
There isn't noting like creative writing. I've been drawn to it for forever now. It's a release, creativity, imagination, all in one. I remember when I was in 4th grade I wrote 370+ notebook & pencil pages (which was the very thick lined old school paper lol) about all kinds of short stories. I was a child who enjoyed being alone in my room with my radio playing and writing as much as my mind would allow, or how big the callus was on the inside of my middle finger. lol
3. SUMMER IS HAPPY
Islandbaby at A Beautiful Recovery
Her Mommy at embellish.meant
Errant at My Own Circus Show
Chole at Confessions of an Ex- Drama Queen
Natalie at Use Your Words, Little Girl
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
So I've been talking to my husband about quiting my job.
I am by no means a quiter but I can't take the stresses and unbalance of work loads anymore. I've been at the same profession since a year out of college. Actually I stopped school to work there full time, so I've been there ever since 2002. I've moved up and ranked but have yet to be fully satisfied with my working LIFE.
What do you do when you make an adquate amount of income but severely depressed about being there? Quit? I'm 27 now, will be 28 in July and I'm having this ora of self worth that keeps tapping me on the head asking me if this is what I was meant to be doing for the rest of m life? Then the RECESSION slug slithers over and says I gotta stay or I won't ever find anything else. What to do?
I've been thinking for a few years now about how I want to start my own business. We've been saving to buy a house, but I think I want to use that money to start up a small restraunt. It has always been a dream and I would consider it doing something I love. I complain I'm stressed now but owning a business can conjure just the same or even more head aches. BUT I will justify it as doing it for something I love doing? Right?
Second guessing myself is what I do best. lol Well this is how dreams begin, fueled by pains of instability. If I don't do this than I must do something.. I will personally give myself another year or two then I'm out the door. I must exspirence life with a new challenge, tackel it, kick the shit of out it, and maybe have time for a drink on the beach afterwards. We shall see!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Here in Kansas City we have a newly renovated downtown called "The Power and Light District'. It houses many chic bars, restarurants, clubs and late night concerts. Well my friend and her cousin were going out for the evening. My friend and her cousin are both beautiful, young and vibrant ladies.
While in the club my friend said to her cousin, "Don't leave me this time, lets stay together tonight! I am not taking a cab home again." The cousin said, "Okay promise." Well after a couple drinks and some long dances the cousin met a guy that visually swept her off her feet. She said he was so sexy, tall and handsome. They kissed and made out during the night.... He asked her if he could take her to his house so they could continue their "love sessions". She said to him that she promised she couldn't leave her cousin alone. He begged and she begged my friend and my friend pleaded NO!... The cousin swapped numbers with him so they could re-ignite their passion elsewhere when they got the chance some other time. The girls went home, exchanged stories of the sexy random with hopes of calling him again sometime during the week.
A few days goes by and the cousin gets a painful, blistering type of cold sore on the bottom of her lips. This is extreamly embarrassing because she's fairly attractive. She immediately goes to the Dr. to see what type of sore was growing rapidly on her lips. The Dr. nicely advises her to wait while he runs some quick test to see what exactly what it was. The Dr. came back, completly serious and a tad shaken. He asks her, "Who have you recently been with or kissing to give you this on your face?" Embarrssed she denied no one and just said it grew there. He forces the answer out of her again. She again denied but anxiously wondered what the hell was going on?
The Dr. left the room again. After awhile the Dr. came back escorting 2 male officers. The officers politely greeted her and asked her again. Scared out of her wits she obliged and asked what was going on?? With the Dr. standing by, the officer told her that what she had on her lip was an extreamly deadly fungus, but only found on dead caucuses, or deceased humans. She panicked and began to open up entirely. She told them the whole story of what happen that Saturday night and who she was with. The officers asked if she still had the phone number of the guy she was with. She did and gave it to them.
Days later the officers visited that sexy guy's house. They did a search while he wasn't home. Inside they found 2 dead bodies. Both female victims and about the same age of my friend and her cousin. The man was arrested and has been taken to jail. He hasn't been convicted of anything yet but we know for sure he was into necrophilia with these women.
Necrophilia: sexual arousal stimulated by a dead body. The stimulation can be either in the form of fantasies or actual physical sexual contact with a corpse.
It was totally traumatic for my friends family. Even for me! This is a true story and I couldn't believe this happened so close to home, or someone I knew. I believe in God and had to immediately pray and give thanks that she wasn't the next victim. Her life has been spared.
I had to call my BF in Cali just to let her know the craziness in our lil city and for her to be careful up there. You never know where situations in your life can take you. Hopefully my friends cousin will remember this and choose her surrounding and people wisely.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
So lately I've been diving in a few TV shows before school starts, and also considering it's winter and I can hibernate like the best of the bears. When I should be EXERCISING but that's another blog.
One of the show's I've watching is Tough Love on VH1. These ladies have made many failed attempts themselves at love so they go see Steven Ward a matchmaker who tries to offer them help at finding a partner. What intrigued me with this show is the personalities of some of these ladies. I've seen some of thier traits in my friends, family, co-workers.. hell even me. What I like is the help Steven is givin is foreal. Like MEN DO THINK THIS WAY! oh and also you have to learn to play their GAME. I learned that a loooong time ago. I would like to say that's how I snagged the hubs, but really I think I just know when to keep my mouth shut.... that's really all that matters...sadly. But the advice really is good advice what I do with my friends with the "same situations" is call them up and say.. "Hey have you seen that show Tough Love!? It's pretty interesting you should watch it!" lol
Other than that I might catch some others on the fly by like Hoarders on A&E. This is so odd to me and I know this is an actual medical mental condition but man it is interesting to watch? Espicially when I need to get my house clean. After watching that it will sure make you get up and get stuff out. These families are effected by a family member who surround themselves with trash/clutter/astronmical shopping and clothes. They have an emotional bond with these items and usually are suffering from some type of emotional trauma. Sad show really, espically when children are involved.