Phone Anxiety

I totally think this disorder is made up, mainly for the fact because I've never heard anything about it. Well... I feel I have it. In a selfish kind of way. The other day I decided to google it, so see if there were any other "phone challenged" people out there, and behold: I came across another blogger in fact, who has the same disorder. (for the lack of words), Cicada Song: Phone Anxiety put it EAXTLY how I felt in a nutshull. I mean, damn near almost exactly. I couldn't believe it..

Ok, so what is it exactly? Your wondering? Well I'm not afraid of callers, or afraid to talk to people, I love people. I just refuse to let people take advantage of me and put all their drama and shitty conversation in my trash can. Just so happened I was raped of my ears and ability to empathise while talking with a close friend. She yabbed and yaaaaabbed, talked and talked that I couldn't get a word in to even have her back and say that she's right. I never got a chance to say hey, this is whats going on with me.. I'm a great listner, but damn! It really makes a dull evening when it's not a c-o-n-v-e-r-s-a-t-i-o-n. Maybe it's the entrapement feeling on the phone? I LOVE meeting up over dinner, lunch plans, and we can talk for hours!

Just the phone?

So, it was her, then another friend, then another..to where I just complety made myself unavailble. I got rid of my cell phone, and devoted my time to more self-fullfilling projects. Now if you read Cicada's..she goes more into detail about messaging and everything. Like for example I'm your best friend over the computer, I'll email you until the cows come home, but to get locked in to a verbal dissucsion where I'm backed into a wall all night.. nah. I'm ok. I'll be the first to hang up but then I feel guilty..You don't always want to be the first to end every conversation all the time..?

It might sound kind of selfish, but it can wear ya down a little.

Now, I've gotten a little better, plus I need a cell phone cause I was missing my parents calling at home, and what if I was being murdered, I would kinda like to take advantage of modern technology and have a cell phone near by... ya know?

Plus, now the girls know what's up. We've talked and they have given more short iter-active converations, and I'm cool with that.
They're realizing that highschool is over.. if you want to empty your emotions, bring it on, but to do it all night? Getta shrink.

Shit.