Seeing is Believing..

and then I almost had a panic attack. NO.. I did have a panic attack..

I went on babycenter.com to look up information, research mommy details that I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE ABOUT.. like the actual birthing of a baby. I sat here at work, played the video. Didn't look too bad, it was like lady's top part of her body, she was just in pain..screaming a tad. THEN the camera goes way SOUTH. .. my heartbeat races, I'm sweating a little so I take off my sweater, I see the head of the baby, and blood stretching this woman's vulva to complete capacity..my stomach turns, and I start darting my eyes looking for a trash can.. I grab a laminated chart and start to fan myself, close my eyes and breathe deeply..until my heart races slower.. What the hell just happened? Was I that disturbed over having a baby?

Usually I'm not such a bitch over slimy, bloody, eerie things, but that got to me.

I'm totally clueless on all this stuff and it's starting to stress me out. I think this is where it's coming from. I mean you should see my dreams. Talk about weird.

Lately, I've been bugging my mom friends with all these questions. I know they are getting so tired of me asking questions that seem so, I dunoo.. dumb!? I call one up and ask about what she does with her kids while she's at work. lol So we talk about Daycare. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT DAYCARE COST?.. it's a whole brand new (LEXUS) car payment a month!!! What a rip off. So, what the hell am I gonna do?
Stay home? Yea right! Who can do that anymore? I think my hubs will have to work nights and I will work mornings.. Good-bye to seeing him anymore.. Guess that's just what having a child is about sacrificing some time together.. ? Whatever. I'm game. Fuckin bring it.

Here is the link to that video.. go see a baby born and see if you don't lose your lunch. lol Mother Giving Birth Epideral

Natural Birth