I know we've all seen it.. the ladies walking around with "cancer sucks" T-shirt and buttons. Never really knowing if it's the people themselves who have it, or jus the supporters joing for a cause?
Well... when I go to work everyday I have the prievledge to see and meet people who are steadingly fighting for thier lives as we speak. This is my exspriece of a non-cancer person standing outside looking in.. and it hurts.
One of mention is a lady named Kelly. She was very vibrant and active, short stature of a woman who was so fun, and always there for the event. You know the ones when your friends asked you to come. "Jessica's having a birthday party, I want you to be there" Sure thing.. and Kelly's there. Kinda like me.. I'm honored when someone asks me.. We were never close, just aquantences, where we respected eachother's personalities: sweetheart to sweetheart. Well lately over years, I'd see her in the elevator or wave hello while she's comming in and I've noticed the life is missing. Her face is not the same, the eyebrows, eye lashes, make-up is gone. She wears a scarf over her head, which was once full & lusterous hair. I feel down because I know what's going on, like words unspoken. When in actuallity I want to just hug her and squeeze her and tell her everything will be ok.. but somehow she knows it won't.
Another morning when I saw her comming in, I said "Hi Kelly, how are you doing?" Exspecting a "fine" or brushed off "good". Instead she said "just trying to make it" ... that was left with me all day. I wrennch and scorn to days end, complain about a headache or two and here she is compeating with life. I never really felt any kind of particaular way about cancer and death as I did that day. It was never so close to home as it was for me that day at work.
I know her days are ending shortly, as a close friend told me last week. As she pushes on.. I also push on for cancer inflicted, and the cancer survivors. Sometimes it's just heartfelt enough to be aware and not to be afriad of the sick as they try to make in to work and still strive for the next day...sometimes all they want is to know you still care..
We met again one morning, walking side my side on the sidewalk.. I told her she looked beautiful. For the first time in awhile I saw her crows feet crinkle, and the corners of her smile turn up. And I gave her a hug. Tomorrow she could be gone, but for today she knows that somebodys still cares.
